Girl Talk with Sarah: 7 of 10
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Hi Sarah. This a personal question and it involves one of my close friends, Natasha. I’ve known her for a long time, and she’s one of the kindest, most generous girls I know. She’s never had a boyfriend before, and lately she’s been talking about how she feels lonely and would really like someone to spend time with. She’s started talking to this guy- who is a close family friend. He already has a long-term, live-in girlfriend and lives a lifestyle that she doesn’t agree with at all. Even though he has a girlfriend, he’s been giving her some attention and she’s been making an effort to intrude on the relationship. It’s extremely frustrating to watch. She’s started neglecting her friendships with people who genuinely care about her, and invested a lot of time, effort and money into this relationship with a guy who doesn’t respect her at all. I’m worried that he is taking advantage of her generosity and understanding nature. We’ve spoken about this before, but she seems to be totally consumed by the potential relationship she may have with this guy. I’m trying to be a good friend to her through it all, but I’m having a hard time with it. How can I help her in a constructive way? Have you ever gone through something similar yourself? Or with a friend of yours?
Sarah’s Words of Wisdom
This is a tough one because it is so hard to see our friends that we care so much for on the verge of major heartbreak. In these situations it is as if they are living in a fog and lack perspective that we see from the outside looking in. The way you react and help your friend all depends on how receptive she is to your thoughts and concern. If she just doesn’t see a problem with running after a man who just isn’t that into her, then she most likely will shut you out until the problem slaps her in the face. That is harsh, I know. The greatest thing you can do is PRAY. Pray that something will happen to open her eyes. Pray that the potential heartbreak coming her way will draw her closer to God and that He will use this situation to strengthen her relationship with Jesus. Pray that you will be prepared to love on her and care for her as she nurses heartbreak. God never wastes anything, even romantic relationships gone bad are used to break peoples hearts so that God alone will build them back up stronger and more faithful to Him.
To read more about what Sarah has to say about love and dating, check out chapter four of her book; Stress Point: Love/Dating Part 1- He Is Just That Into You. Check out Sarah’s blog entry on this topic, here. The dialogue between her readers, the resources she includes and thought-provoking questions Sarah provides, on this topic really are great.